Thursday, August 10, 2017


"Is it impossible?" - he thought. The world had turn against him. There was nothing for him to keep moving on with the certainty something will ever be in his favor. He had seen everything fall apart, like a cheap trick someone gave to him so many years ago, but while he was aging, the better the trick would unfold. Holding a piece of papper he could do nothing but write what was consuming is mind.
"Is it impossible, for real?" - he thought. Nothing made sense appart all the things he experienced. He never did any wrong and that was his mistake. He did everything to please everyone but him. All that kind he would hold for this long, came with a price. A price he couldn't fully understand until the day he decided to pour those words into that piece of papper. With red eyes and a troubled mind. He was sick. He wasn't able to do anything but watch everything fall down. That magic trick, a cheap one, gave him the best to put him at his worst.

"My head hurts. Joining forces with my back pain can't be a good sign. I just felt the urge to expose it once again. Not sure if it's the lack of sleep or these messed up habbits I've gained in the last few days. Nothing seems right. Nothing seems in place. I shouldn't be writing all of this, because it will wake me up when all I want is to sleep. But here I am, writing about it. Maybe it's just me overthinking about it all and when I wake up, in case I fall asleep, I will read this and think that I was being too much overdramatic about it. I'm fully aware of everything around me and I don't like it. I'm an idiot, for sure. I don't even know what day is today. I feel like I've been putting myself in a lot of weird places hoping for someone to try to save me, even not knowing if t's possible. That's just my daily struggle. Again, another mistake. For a split of second I went blind, but kept writing. Why am I this hard to me? I'm not. I'm trying to fix it all and I just can't. I'm not stuck in the past anymore, I just can't move on. All of this is like a loop in this piece of papper and I only write when things are really bad. If only things would be ok. If only that girl could reach me and say that she loves me. I could tell her I am broken but I love her back. I can't even tell myself everything's ok, why should I bring her down too? Why should I bring everything and everyone around, dow with me? It's unfair and I can't be saved. In all of this, I was the one who's kept." - he typed.

"Is it really impossible for me to get better, be better, feel happy?" - he thought with some tears falling from his eyes.
"It shouldn't be, my friend. But it is" - I replied.